We are your servants for Christ's sake

I have never seen the depth of my own selfishness like I have in the last four days of working with the Lozi people. A brother brought to my attention the first four chapters of 2 Corinthians and this new reading has been like sun beams cutting through morning fog. I'll admit, it hasn't been an easy discovery.

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:5, "For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants (slaves) for Jesus' sake."

I'll describe the process of visiting the Kuta, which is the Lozi "royal establishment" in Mwandi, an hour's drive east of Sesheke. This is the place where a group of higher chiefs make judgements on tribal matters in their area.

After changing a tire and eating a quick breakfast, we left our campsite at sunrise on the first day and began the long drive down the west side of the river, over the bridge and up the east side to pick up Chief Imbwae in his second village (where his favorite wife lives). After we went through all the formalities of greeting, discussion, and the presentation of our customary gifts to him (a bale of sugar, a bale of salt, bottles of cooking oil, and two bags of maize meal), we drove all the way back to the main village (about five hours total of driving on very rough roads) to meet with the entire village of Ilwendo to get their official "approval" before going to meet with the Kuta the next day. We arrived back at our campsite after dark.

The next day we got up before dawn, ate breakfast, picked up Nduna Ilwendo, the vice Nduna, the secretary, the counselor, Chief Imbwae (the regional chief who we brought over to the west side the day before), and our friend, Dominic, and traveled to Mwandi (about a three hour drive) and arrived at about 10 am. Along the way, we were responsible for feeding all of these men both days of traveling. So imagine us stopping along the road to serve breakfast and lunch. After arriving at the "royal establishment", we sat for two hours waiting for an audience with the Kuta (counsel of chiefs). Just after we ran to pick up some fish (complete with eyeballs and scales!) at the local market for the men to eat for lunch, the Kuta called us in. We went through all the formalities only for them to tell us that we would have to come back and see the Senior Chief (or lesser king depending on the context) for him to meet with us, question us, and give his final approval. So nothing final was accomplished that day.

With heavy hearts we drove back through Mwandi and stopped for the men to buy more fish. We drove on with the truck reeking of fish. The men wanted to do some shopping in Sesheke while we took Chief Imbwae back to his village on the east side of the Zambezi. This whole section took about two hours (we stopped several times to pick up people who were traveling with heavy loads along the side of the road - some men had been walking for three days to get to Sesheke) and so we arrived back in Sesheke at 7:30 pm, picked up the men we had left for shopping in the market (one of them had purchased a mattress that we loaded on the top of the truck) and we made the journey back to the village to drop them all off at their homes. We delivered Nduna Ilwendo (and the customary gifts that we brought for him) and made it back to the campsite at 10:00 pm; a sixteen-hour day. It's difficult to describe the range of emotions we felt that day. I was absolutely exhausted. I felt completely used up and sucked dry. I battled bitterness, self-pity, and discouragement. I didn't eat any supper that night. I just went to bed and poured out my heart to Jesus.

The next morning I was deeply humbled by the reminder of what Jesus endured all the time during his days of ministry. What I had endured the two previous days was NOTHING in comparison. I had endured so much less - and had endured it miserably! I was reminded from the writer of Hebrews that Jesus was tempted in every way like we are and yet He endured it without sinning even once!

Mark 1:32-35
That evening at sundown they brought to him all who were sick or oppressed by demons. And the whole city was gathered together at the door. And he healed many who were sick with various diseases, and cast out many demons... and rising very early in the morning while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

Jesus knew what it was like to be absolutely spent at the end of the day. What desperation must He have felt for time alone with His Father in order to be strengthened and rejuvenated? The realization finally hit home - Jesus understands me and knows my weaknesses. And so I sat in the early morning sun feeling loved by my Lord; repenting of my own self-centeredness; admiring the magnificent God-Man, the merciful Servant of all, who was used up and poured out every single day on an ungrateful and undeserving world; and asking for more grace to be like Him.